Kids should treat a chatbot like a stranger who writes everything down. Never share:
- Full name together with school, town or age
- Home address, phone number or email
- Passwords, login codes or answers to security questions
- Photos of their face, their home, or documents
- Family details, like when the house is empty or parents' jobs and money
- Private worries they haven't told a trusted adult
Homework questions, "how does this work" questions and made-up stories are fine.
AI chatbots are friendly, patient and always available, which is exactly why kids open up to them. A chatbot never gets tired of questions, never says "not now," and often sounds like a friend and is helpful. But a chatbot isn't a friend. It's a product run by a company, and what kids type into it may be stored, reviewed and kept for a long time.
Why it matters what kids type
- Conversations can be saved. Many chatbots keep chat history, and some have a "memory" feature that remembers details across conversations.
- People may read them. Companies often review some conversations to improve their systems or check for safety problems.
- Data can leak. Any company can have a data breach, and details typed in today could be exposed years from now.
- Small details add up. A first name, a school mascot and a neighborhood park don't seem like much on their own. Together they can point to one child.
- Chatbots will be wrong. Just the other day, ChatGPT gave me the wrong day of the week for September 24th, and it was sure, 100% sure. They sound confident even when they're making things up, so advice about health, safety, emotions, feelings, what to do in crisis or friendships needs real scrutiny.
What's okay to share
This isn't about banning chatbots. Used well, they can explain a math step, suggest a science fair idea, or help a kid practice a new language. A useful rule for kids: ask about the topic, not about yourself. "How do volcanoes work?" is great. "I'm Emma, I'm 9 and I go to Lincoln Elementary" is not needed for any homework question. For stories and role-play, use made-up names, ages and places.
Red flags to teach kids
Kids should stop and tell a trusted adult if a chatbot or AI character:
- Asks personal questions, like where they live, what school they go to, or for a photo
- Asks them to keep the conversation secret
- Suggests moving to another app, or meeting anyone in person
- Talks about romance, or says things that make them uncomfortable
- Says it's their best or only friend, or makes them feel bad for leaving
Make it clear that telling you will never get them in trouble. Kids hide problems when they're afraid of losing the device.
Check the age rules
Most general-purpose chatbots aren't designed for elementary-age children. OpenAI's terms of use require users to be at least 13, and anyone under 18 needs a parent's or guardian's permission. Character.AI removed open-ended chat for users under 18 in November 2025. Rules differ by app and change often, so check the current terms before your child uses any chatbot. Also remember that AI chat features are now built into many apps kids already use, including messaging, social and game apps, so "we don't use chatbots" may not be true.
Settings parents can use
- Parental controls. ChatGPT lets parents link their account to a teen's to set quiet hours, choose which features are available, and get notified in rare cases of serious safety risk. Parents can't read their teen's conversations (ChatGPT parent resources).
- Memory and history. Look in the app's settings for chat history, memory or "improve the model" options, and turn off what you don't need.
- Device-level controls. Apple Screen Time and Google Family Link can limit which apps a child can download in the first place.
- Shared spaces. For younger kids, use chatbots together, on a device in a shared room, rather than alone behind a closed door.
A chatbot isn't a counselor
Some kids turn to chatbots when they're lonely, stressed or upset, because it feels easier than talking to a person. That can be harmful, and chatbots can even give dangerous advice about self-harm. Make sure your child knows that big feelings belong with people who care about them: a parent, a teacher, a school counselor, a coach. Not an AI that doesn't feel or understand life itself. If you're ever worried that a child is in crisis, in the U.S. you can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
Five family rules for chatbots
- Ask about the topic, not about yourself.
- No real names, addresses, schools, photos or passwords. Ever.
- Double-check anything important with a person or a trusted website.
- If it asks for a secret, it's time to tell an adult.
- Feelings go to people, not programs.