Before a child's first phone or tablet leaves the box: set it up with a child account under your family plan (Apple Family Sharing or Google Family Link), turn on screen-time schedules and app approvals, lock down who can contact them, agree on family rules together, and promise that telling you about a problem will never cost them the device. Then check in weekly for the first month.
A first phone or tablet is a big step, and most of the protection comes from the first hour of setup. Settings are much easier to get right before a child has installed twenty apps than after. Use this checklist as you go. It works for a phone or a tablet, whether it's brand-new or a hand-me-down.
1. Before you hand it over
- Create a child account instead of signing the device in with your own account. On Apple devices this is done through Family Sharing; on Android and Chromebooks, through Google Family Link. A child account is what unlocks most parental controls.
- If it's a hand-me-down, erase it first. A full reset removes your old apps, saved passwords, photos and payment details.
- Install all software updates. Updates fix security holes, and it's easiest to do before the device is in daily use.
- Set a passcode that your child knows and you know. Explain that it's not a secret from parents, but it is a secret from everyone else, including best friends.
- Turn on "Find My" or "Find My Device" so a lost device can be located, locked or erased.
2. Time and apps
- Set a schedule. Apple's Screen Time and Google Family Link both let you block use at bedtime and school time and set daily limits for categories like games or video.
- Require approval for new apps and purchases. On Apple this is "Ask to Buy"; on Family Link you approve app requests from Google Play.
- Set age ratings for apps, movies, music and websites so mature content is filtered by default.
- Filter the web browser. Turn on adult-content filtering and SafeSearch, and consider allowing only approved websites for younger kids.
3. Who can reach them
- Limit contacts. Apple's Allowed Contacts (part of Screen Time) can restrict calls, FaceTime and Messages to people you've approved.
- Turn on nudity warnings. Apple's Communication Safety warns children before they view or send images that may contain nudity.
- Check chat inside apps. Many games and video apps have their own messaging. Turn it off or set it to friends-only in each app's settings.
- Make accounts private. If your child is old enough for any social app, set the account to private and review follower requests together.
4. Privacy and location
- Decide on location sharing. Sharing location with family can be reassuring. Sharing it inside games and social apps usually isn't necessary. Turn it off app by app.
- Review app permissions. Does a drawing app really need the microphone, contacts or location? If not, switch it off.
- Check AI features. Newer devices and apps include AI chat and image tools. Look at what's on and decide what's appropriate for your child's age.
5. Accounts and passwords
- Use a strong passphrase for your child's account, such as three or four random words, and don't reuse it anywhere else.
- Turn on two-factor authentication for your own account, since it's the key to all of your family's controls.
- Keep passwords somewhere safe, like a family password manager, rather than on sticky notes.
6. Family rules (write them down)
Settings handle a lot, but the conversation matters more. The American Academy of Pediatrics offers a free Family Media Plan tool that walks families through making their own rules. Ideas many families use:
- Devices charge overnight outside the bedroom.
- No devices at meals.
- Ask before downloading, buying or signing up for anything.
- Never share your full name, school, address or photos with people you only know online.
- Be the same kind person online that you are in person.
7. The most important promise
Tell your child, out loud, that if anything online ever makes them scared, confused or uncomfortable, they can come to you, and they won't lose their device for telling you. Kids who are afraid of losing their phone hide problems. Kids who know they'll get help bring them to you early, while they're still small.
8. Keep checking in
- Look at the device together once a week for the first month: which apps get used, who they're talking to, and what's fun or confusing.
- After that, review settings every month or two and after big software updates, which can add new features.
- Loosen limits as your child shows good judgment. The goal is a teenager who can manage on their own.